Review The Reviewer: Michael Mayo….I’m Reviewing YOU!

Posted on May 21st, 2016 by
I'm reviewing YOU, Mikie!

I’m reviewing YOU, Mikie!

Review The Reviewer: Michael Mayo….I’m Reviewing YOU!

I’m minding my own business and reading the Sun-Sentinel like I’ve done for over 20 Years. What does my little eye spy….A $hitty 2.5 Star review on one of my favorite restaurants, Runyons. I admit as I’m reading this review my blood starts to boil. WTF is Michael Mayo doing writing food reviews? I’ve followed him when he was a sports writer and then he switched to doing editorials on local politics and other BS. In all the years he’s been with the Sun-Sentinel, I only remember one time when he talked about a restaurant and it was Hong Kong BBQ in Tamarac. So, all of a sudden Michael’s a food writer? What makes him so qualified to review restaurants. What’s his claim to fame? Has he worked tables in restaurants? Has he cooked in a restaurant? Has he washed dishes in a restaurant? Has he ever tended bar in a restaurant? Does he hang around people that work in restaurants? Does he cook? Has he been to wine or beer tastings? Has he taken any cooking classes? I’m sure everyone knows where I’m going with this….what clout does this dude have? Just because you eat out doesn’t make you qualified to do a food review. It’s one thing to write about millionaire athletes, crooked politicians, and misuse of public funds, but a food critic? Please! LOL. Until he proves to me he’s qualified to write food reviews, what he writes means $hit to me. He’s no better than some of the fools on Yelp who think they know about food just because they go to free parties, sample food and drinks. Hey Mike (you don’t mind me calling you Mike do you? LOL)…did you pay for your own meal? Did you get paid as a “contract reporter” to write that review on Runyons? Let me tell you something, Mr. Food Writer, you don’t know $hit about Runyons. How many times have you eaten at Runyons before you pumped out your review? One time maybe two? Well, bub, that’s not enough times when you wield that big sword and cut deep into a family owned restaurant like Runyons. Maybe you don’t give a $hit, but I do because I go to Runyons at least once a week. I’ve never had a bad meal or service. Do they know me? Hell yes, they do! But the people who sit around me (who I don’t know) get great service too. I’ve never seen a dish returned either. I’m sure it happens because, lets face it, no one is perfect but I’ve never seen it. Bottom line, Mike, your review on Runyons sucks and it’s flawed.

Class Time

Hey Mike! I’m going to give you a class on restaurant reviews. I’m going to use my friend Marqus R. who is one of the few Yelpers I respect as an example on how it’s done. I can’t hold a candle to Marqus, but I know he follows what I write. He went to Runyons and did a 5 Star review after seeing me write about my experiences…This is how it’s done Mikie:


ZERO beers for Michael Mayo THE contract reporter for the Sun-Sentinel. In my eyes he has no clout and until he proves to the readers he is qualified to write food reviews, I won’t believe a word he types. Stay Hungry!

Four beers = Outstanding
Three beers = Good
Two beers = OK
One beer = Needs work
Zero beers= Sucks (No beer is never a good thing.)

5 Comments to “Review The Reviewer: Michael Mayo….I’m Reviewing YOU!”

  1. Wow! You really gave to Mayo, and after reading his silly bad mouth of Runyon’s I’m glad you did and humbly flattered that I could in some way be a part of it. The faults he found with Runyon’s were rather crazy ass subjective, like an under salted steak. You got to be kidding me. If he’d like it saltier, that’s why they have salt shakers on the table. And if he’d ever worked a kitchen, he know that you don’t dare over salt as there is then no way to resalt it to the customers wishes. I’m entirely with you on this one Dan. A sports writer turned professional food columnist sounds fishy to me even at first blush.

  2. Dan I Cook says:

    He is a joke! Me and you could run circles around him. Thanks for postin Marqus! I knew you would chuckle at Mayo’s BS review. Remember I still want to do that bar crawl with you in Wilton Manors. Maybe sometime over the summer we can make that happen.

  3. Rob says:

    He eats at restauants and that is enough.

    I notice only you and you buddy commeted other then me of couse.

    • Dan I. Cook says:

      That’s not enough. He has no experience and he gets paid to eat there and wrote about it. Also they pay for his meals. Look at how he is ranking some of these restaurants and the inconsistencies with his reviews. BTW that other buddy, is a well respected business reviewer.

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